do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
