We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
