Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
