You made me cry and you don't even care
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
