dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
