She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
