he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
