It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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