I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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