you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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