so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
