My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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