i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I just googled if crying burns calories
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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