You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
