no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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