Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
if i died would you start the facebook group?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
