Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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