i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
