Whatcha textin bout Willis?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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