I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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