Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
