K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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