your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize