At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
