I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
