and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
