You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
