theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize