I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
