You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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