i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
