he puts the penis in happiness.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
