did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
