Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
