We won't sleep together?
After last night, I could never be a politician.
even my farts smell like vagina
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
