i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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