On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
so that wasnt chicken after all
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
