i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
