so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
