I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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