dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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