Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize