bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
