Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
