new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
