You did not just play the dead husband card again.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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