Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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