census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Randomize
