Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
