My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
