I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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