That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Actions speak louder than pants.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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