sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
