I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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