We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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