ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
