Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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