i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
