Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
