Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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