Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
