Taylor Swift is so right about you.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
