I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
