I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
this boner is exhausting
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize