youre lurking in front of me
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize