omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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