So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
