He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
