I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
