New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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