1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
