Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
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